Isn’t it interesting how many times people are given unfair labels just because they are dating. For example, a girl who is being cautious and safe is called “frigid”. A man who is being pro-active is called a “player”. All they want to do though, is find and date partners at their own pace.
These types of label are many and varied and they are a problem. They make you feel like you need to justify your dating decisions. It can go further than that too. They can change your decision making process putting you in situations you don’t want to be in. They can put you off dating altogether.
Today we are going to review the label “The Player”. One of my friends has semi regularly been called a player. I can even remember in a conversation when a woman commented “yes, I don’t understand it. Everyone calls him a player, yet no-one has ever seen him “playing”.” It was a comment which I thought to be very telling in today’s society.
I find it very strange that a man who is open to discussing his romantic life, with the intent of learning and improving himself, is labelled a player.
Women are renowned for sharing their romantic experiences. They get together in little groups and share, learning from each others experiences and advising each other. Many don’t realise this, but there are also groups of men who get together to share and learn from each other. Its a rare, lets face it, men are not supposed to talk about that stuff are they?
What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.
I believe there are two factors which contribute to this. Firstly, men are pressured by women along the lines of “a gentleman never kisses and tells”. This expectation exists and is held dear by all the women who are quite happy to meet their friends and discuss even the most intimate details of all their experiences. There really is a lack of balance here. Secondly, men are often very competitive among themselves, particularly when it comes to women. This causes meaningless banter and bravado when they’d be better served with honest communication and the exchanging of ideas.
The problem this causes is that you often have nowhere to go when you want to talk about your real dating issues. There is no-one you can learn from. Therefore you can’t learn about women and how to interact with them so that both you and your date enjoy a more harmonious dating experience.
So, if you are single, a man and interested in understanding more about women, no doubt you have faced these challenges yourself. Keep the faith, forget what everyone says, you are not a player. As long as you are being compassionate to your dating partners, continue on your journey of self discovery and improvement. It is a good thing.
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